CHOOSING OPTIMISM WHEN PESSIMISM WOULD BE EASIER

The original publication of this article appeared at Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-mannino/choosing-optimism-when-pe_b_164535.html

With the election of Barack Obama to the presidency, there has been a lot of talk about "change" and optimism. Some even think we have been hearing about it too much during a time in which many are experiencing significant crisis. Yet, while some have an easy time maintaining a generally optimistic outlook, others are asking, "What the hell is there to be optimistic about?"

Personally, I feel that there is a lot to be optimistic about. For instance, we can be optimistic about the fact that we have a compassionate president who is willing to stand in the shoes of those who hold opposite points of view and willing to admit when he makes a mistake. However, when we are riding the 401-k roller coaster, experiencing the worst unemployment rate in 25 years and moving through the trials of a heinous economy, it can be an elusive experience. Nonetheless, I encourage you to explore the role that holding a positive, optimistic point of view can play in your life even through these trying times. However, to do that, it takes a bold and courageous leap into acceptance for all things, good and bad, past and present.

I can hear some of you thinking, "I can't take ownership for Wall Street screwing me over and losing my job," Of course, I'm not suggesting that you have caused all of the circumstances of your life, but rather that your experience of circumstances, therefore, your reality, is based on your response to these circumstances. How you react to any given situation is the result of an internal choice you make. Therefore, it is within your realm to accept and take ownership for your experience. When you take ownership you are empowered to make enlightened, conscious choices that can support you in focusing on the positive, and what is in your life for which you can be grateful.

Victor Frankl was a Psychiatrist in Berlin, Germany who was a survivor of Auschwitz. It was during his time in Auschwitz that he made this discovery: "The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance." In addition in Ben Sherwood's book The Survivor's Club: The Secrets and Science That Could Save Your Life, he provides a significant overview of research that illustrates that one's attitude and faith are essential to overcoming tragic, dire circumstances.

One's outlook can play a key role in co-creation, the symbiotic relationship that forms when you allow spirit to be in the driver's seat of your life while simultaneously making informed, empowered choices. When you are powerfully co-creating you emit the high vibrations of love, bliss, joy, gratitude. This level is where the Law of Attraction (so famously demonstrated in The Secret) gets triggered powerfully and allows you to call forth new visions and desires for your life. Defined simply, The Law of Attraction is, "like attracts like, you get what you think about, and you get what you put your energy and focus on whether wanted or unwanted." Therefore, though it can be very challenging, it is critical to shift into an optimistic point of view.

My mother died tragically following seven months of suffering and complications following an elective surgery -- an event that ranks among the most tragic circumstances of my life. I would not trade my mother for anything in the world, however, there are things I had to go through as a result of my mother's death that I am very grateful for. The experience offered deep personal transformation, learning and maturity. Accepting the circumstance inspired my willingness to go within and access the courage to experience gratitude; which continues to shine wisdom and insight into my life.

Recently, I had a client who was laid off. Prior to the lay-off it became clear that she would be taking her career in a different direction than her job. At that time she enrolled in graduate school to pursue something completely different. However, although it was not her passion, she knew that it was not time to leave the job. Then the lay-off happened. When I asked her what the lesson might be that she was getting from this lay off she realized that it spirit's way of putting both of her feet on the path that she was choosing to walk. As a result, she was able to see this lay-off as an affirmation of her new direction. Although this circumstance did present her with challenges it became clear that it served her and this supported her in maintaining a positive perspective.

I encourage you to do what it takes to shift your attention away from what is negative and place it on what it is positive in our life. If need be enlist help from your support network or a professional. Also, there are exercises you can engage in that will support you. Daily I write at least five things I am grateful for in a gratitude journal. I also acknowledge myself for something I am proud of or accomplished during the day. This exercise has helped me to keep my attention on the positive aspects of my life, particularly when in the moments that I have felt like things couldn't get any worse. Actually, when things can't get any worse, guess what? That's when they often start to get better.

If you would like to learn more about shifting your perception from negative to positive e-mail info@jmannino.com for Jason's new complimentary e-book: Mind Your Mind; Manage Your Thoughts, Tips to Turn Your Mind Into Your Ally.

Learn more about Jason and A.C.T.ion Centered Transformation at www.jmannino.com.

EASY NURTURING FOR A HECTIC LIFE

By Jason Mannino

August 20, 2008

In my last article I discussed how easy it is to become overwhelmed. Particularly,

while juggling multiple projects, whether personal or professional. When overwhelmed one is often never present where they really are, which is right where they are. Rather at any given moment they are already onto their next item on the "to do" list and not fully engaged with what is in front of them. With this kind of existence it is easy to run ourselves ragged and even forget to receive nurturing from others or ourselves. I have provided a simple list of ways you can allow yourself to be present to nurturing from others and yourself in your some of your most mundane day-to-day activities. Some of what is outlined below may sound a little silly. However, consider that when you were four or five and freely allowed yourself to be really silly that this was one of the times in your life when you were effortlessly connected to source and trusted that you were unconditionally cared for.

1. More than just a haircut

While getting your haircut or "done," (I have found that men seem to say "haircut" and women seem to say "getting my hair done.") allow yourself to become real present in the salon chair. Take a few deep breaths and bring your awareness to the hands of the person doing this job for you. Simply acknowledge to yourself that someone is taking care of your hair, and therefore, taking care of you. Become real present to the person's hands in your hair, the scissors cutting your hair, and the process of having your physical appearance cared for by another. This will bring you into a very relaxed state and you may even experience some quiet bliss in the awareness that another human being is nurturing you.

2. More than just eating in restaurants

Take a moment to make a human connection with your waitperson. Make it a habit to ask them their name and treat them like a human being as opposed to someone serving you food. When you make this human connection you consciously begin to have the experience of another human being taking care of you. It feels good to be more fully present in the moment, enjoy your meal, and let yourself be taken care of. Becoming fully present means relaxing where you are as opposed to worrying about where you have to rush off to when your finished eating. You can do this on your lunch hour at work even if you only have 20 minutes.

3. More than just a cup of coffee

Make eye contact with the person who serves you coffee everyday. Bring your awareness to feeling grateful that at any given time you can walk into your favorite café and there is someone there to serve you your coffee or tea. The gratitude you feel will connect you authentically with the fact that there are people all over the place whose role is to care for you. Yes, even if it is just serving you your coffee. You can do this at your dry cleaner, grocery store, theater or movie ticket box office. You can do this anywhere you are receiving a service and it is their job to take care of you. The more you bring your consciousness to that idea the more you will experience it.

4 More than just a workout

I encourage you to exercise consciously. Coach yourself to be present in your body during your workout. Guide yourself through a quick body meditation by bringing your awareness to your breath and your entire body before beginning the workout. Than if you are lifting weights, between each set continue doing breath meditation and visualize yourself moving powerfully through your next set. You will feel stronger and more empowered when you get to the set. If you are doing cardio, in your minds eye visualize yourself having the body you desire. You can also run an affirmation while doing your cardio. An affirmation I use during cardio is, "I have a beautiful, muscular, healthy body that supports my mission and purpose in life." Approaching your workout from this perspective will support you in bringing your consciousness to having a workout that actually nurtures you as opposed to one more chore you have to get through before the day is over.

Of course in order to feel loved and nurtured you yourself need to come from a loving place with people. Sometimes as we run through our hectic lives it is easy to forget that the person who is actually providing us with a valuable service (as mundane and simple as the service may seem) is actually a human being. Take a moment to really look people in the eye and let them know you appreciate what they do for you. This exchange of nurturing and appreciation will support your life perspective in being much more peaceful and graceful even during the most hectic moments of the day.

BUSTING MENTAL BLOCKS WITH POSITIVE SELF TALK

Your reality, ultimately, is a reflection of your thinking; particularly, when your thoughts are expressed through speech and writing. From birth we are programmed like a computer. Data and programs go in and stay there unless you make a decision to purge them. Sometimes you are unaware that those programs are running. Your hard drive becomes overloaded and begins to run very slowly. It may shut programs down while you are using them. Overall you are just not getting the results that you go for. You then have to look for these programs and delete them or you will continue to get undesired results.

As a child you are programmed by the adult figures in our life. You take what they say and internalize it as truth. Often times these thoughts are negative. They penetrate your subconscious and influence your behavior and the results that show up in your reality. They stay with you until you make the conscious choice to go in and delete these old files and programs. They also become the mental blocks that can keep you from achieving your goals. When you change your thoughts and process negative subconscious patterns driving your thoughts your life will change. There are many ways to address subconscious thought. They include meditation, conscious breathwork, hypnosis, NLP, etc.

One powerful mental blockbuster is positive self-talk in the form of affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement. It is expressed from the present tense in support of shifting your negative thoughts and manifesting a goal or intention. Also, affirmations are great for processing the subconscious. The simple act of shifting negative beliefs and stating a positive affirmation unique to your life will trigger the ego. This will bring an emotional response from your subconscious into awareness illustrating what may be lurking underneath. Then you can resolve your unseen negative thought patterns.

The most effective method I have found in utilizing affirmations is a writing exercise. In this exercise divide a sheet of paper in two columns. Label the left column “affirmation” and the right column “response.” In the left column write your affirmation. Take a breath. When a negative response surfaces write it in the response column. The response column allows you to purge negative beliefs. When you state an affirmation always use your name in the present tense. For example: In the affirmation column your affirmation may read "I, your name, am now doing what I love and making an abundant living." Your response column response may be "You can't be a dreamer and bring home the bacon."

With a new affirmation I strongly suggest you use this exercise once a day for a week. Write the affirmation and a response at least 15 times. You will know it is working when you suddenly discover that the responses you are writing become positive and support your affirmation. For instance, in the example above, your response may sound like “This is fun!” You will also know it is working if you do not have a response at all and you are feeling relaxed and peaceful after writing your affirmation. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this exercise. Transformation doesn’t have to be arduous.

In addition, I suggest speaking your new affirmation out loud. Write it or type it on a piece of paper and place it near your bed, on your bathroom mirror, in your car, in your office or anywhere you can regularly see it. In the morning when you are getting ready to leave for the day look at yourself in the mirror and state the affirmation. Repeat the affirmation out loud while you are driving. Spend five minutes a day in your office working with your affirmation.

I have seen people shift negative beliefs, change circumstances, and manifest their goals literally within two weeks using this tool. If you use this consistently with intense focus it can have powerful results for you too!

Copyright 2008-2012 Jason Mannio. All Rights Reserved

THE CALL: YOUR DREAMS NEED YOU

THE CALL: Living the Life Only You Were Born For

When you’re feeling stuck in a rut and finally decide to make a change going alone can be challenging. You see we don’t live in a society that nurtures authenticity or uniqueness. By authenticity I mean being faithful to internal rather than external ideals. So when you decide it’s finally time to move away from doing what you’ve always done; which perhaps has never made your dreams come true, you might be hard pressed to find support to help fuel your momentum.

Are you at a place in your life where you’re thinking “I would rather have my teeth pulled out than go back to my office ever again,” or “Why did I accept this horrible assignment when my gut was screaming no?” Perhaps you are feeling like things just are not going the way you had planned. Perhaps you are feeling like it is time to do what you have always wanted or perhaps you are confused about what that is. You may begin to share your feelings with the people in your life and discover that this is not something people are unconditionally willing to listen to. The idea that you need to make a change may trigger fear or concern in some of your close friends and relatives. In our society people are generally not acquainted with those of us who want to follow our unique calling. For most people this is often relegated to hobby time.

We all came into this life with unique gifts and talents we are meant to share. This is our calling. More often than not it is also our dream and the thing we do that makes us feel alive and jump out of bed in the morning. The great news is that what we are born to do in this life is also how we serve humanity. I believe when one of us misses our calling there is a negative ripple throughout consciousness.

As children we are deeply connected to ourselves as divine beings; therefore, still related to the truth of who we are meant to be in this lifetime. When a child announces, “I want to be a firefighter!” it would be good for this to be heard deeply by a parent. Whether or not the child actually wants to grow up, don a firefighter uniform, and carry around a big hose spraying fires is not the main point. The main point is that there is an intuitive voice in that child that knows deeply that the qualities of a firefighter are qualities he was born to bring forth to serve humanity in this lifetime, e.g. courage, heroism, teamwork, etc. However, let’s say this child makes this announcement to a father who almost died in a fire as a child and has held onto the dread associated with that circumstance. What may result is stifled self-expression. The child may then put this dream in the “DO NOT PURSUE” file.

As a child I remember making announcements like, “I want to be a rock star!” or “I want to be a movie star!” I did discover the one thing I excelled at and loved as a pre-teen and young man, which was acting. Although my family and parents were very proud of me when I starred in community plays and musicals the general message I always received was that you cannot be an actor and make a living. In my mind this got translated to the irrational belief “You can’t do what you love and make a living.” At 35 I have finally resolved that belief and I am pursuing another dream. I had to do a lot of mental work to get to this place.

My calling is to empower others to be their best on their unique path to living the life they were born for. This is why I am still doing The Call seminar that I co-created eight years ago. The seminar directly addresses these issues of authenticity and following our calling in an environment imbued with love, spirit, and mutual support. Also, the seminar specifically addresses the issues that gay men face being disconnected from their true selves.

First hand experience has taught me well that the gay community facilitates getting deeply caught in ego endeavors with ease. My past experience is that getting caught up in these has left me wondering where my life is headed and severely disconnected, particularly, from myself. My experience working with other gay men has taught me that these feelings are universal. The ego endeavors I refer to include circuit parties, drugs, youth obsession, materialism, the bar scene, sex obsession. It also includes not being fully self expressed because we are more concerned with looking good or keeping the job that seems perfect on the surface. One clear example of this is people who stay closeted out of fear of what their co-workers might think if they come out. No one should have to go to work and leave 75% of who they are in the car with the hot sun beaming down on it. Alas, many of us do. Also, as illustrated previously we often disconnect from ourselves in childhood as a result of events that may leave us feeling less loved or accepted being who we really are. This is why it becomes critical as adults to consciously engage in exercises and practice to reconnect at the authentic level of consciousness.

The main purpose of The Call is to support the participants in reconnecting with their authentic selves, unique gifts and visions they are meant to realize in this life. In the first two and a half hours of this seminar I ask the men to take a journey through their life up until the present. Where are they succeeding? What have they neglected? Where have they been less than authentic? By looking candidly at where the men are now and beginning to understand that what got them to this point is a series of choices they can move into unconditional acceptance. Through accepting current reality and realizing that we are always making a choice we can see that it is within our realm to make a different choice. However, we can’t choose something else until we place our consciousness on Here and Now and accept what we have already chosen without judgment. Making different choices could take us closer to the realization of our goals.

At this point in the seminar I ask the men to do visioning work! This means that I ask them to bring their imaginations to the seminar with them. It is in the imaginary realm that we allow our authentic self to hold the vision of what we desire and begin to see the ways in which they can be brought down to earth. The remainder of this eight-week seminar facilitates the implementation of tools that support their visions becoming reality. This includes creating very specific action plans. Without action visions are just visions.

Through the honor and privilege of previously facilitating this work I know directly the difference that people can make in their own lives and in the world when they enter this level of consciousness. Also, I know that when people do evolve into their authentic self they don’t go back, at least not indefinitely. When we experience and come to know ourselves as authentic beings we automatically begin to see others this way. Seeing others and ourselves at this level of consciousness brings more peace and joy to humanity.
____________________________________________________________________
To learn more about THE CALL and enroll you can call Scott @ Gay Men's Medicine Circle @ 818-400-2432. You can also access further info at Jason's website: http://www.jmannino.com/EVENTS.html

The seminar is facilitated by Jason Mannino and Johnny Burke.

Jason Mannino is a Personal Coach and Seminar Leader in Hollywood, CA. He is available for one-on-one coaching and group coaching in addition to his seminars: The Call and Being Love. You can learn more about Jason and contact him through his website at:
www.jmannino.com

WHO LOOKS FOR A COACH?!?

I know you are not looking for a Coach! Who looks for a Coach?! Perhaps what you are looking for is a solution to a problem or support in bringing to life that dream that seems just out of reach or perhaps clarity and support in navigating a life or career transition. Perhaps you are looking for time management training or leadership and communication development! This is where I come in!

Through my personally developed coaching approach, Action Centerd Transformation (A.C.T.), I will support you in moving beyond old patterns, fears, belief systems, and choices that are keeping you from bringing your heartfelt dreams into reality. Moving beyond these will facilitate your knowing who you really are at the core; therefore, identifying your life's mission , the purpose, passions and the unique gifts and dreams you are meant to share in this lifetime. The purpose in this technique is to support you in courageously stepping into the "here and now" and moving out of your comfort zone to take powerful and purposeful action. When vision and action come together your dreams can be reality.

It is never to late to dream and it is never too late to let go of old dreams and keep dreaming!

I have gone through all of the work that I bring into my coaching practice. I happily share my own journey with you, which adds to the connection established. I feel this work is never complete and therefore, I am always taking on new challenges and enthusiastically engaged personally and professionally in this work. Therefore, choosing me as your coach means working with someone who has direct experience on both sides of this equation.

During an initial consultation we will discuss your visions and goals and together we will begin to establish a plan to bring these into reality.

If we decide to move forward we will determine which coaching plan will be most effective. Minimum plans are for four weeks and they include 4 weekly 60min. sessions either on the phone or in person in addition to regular phone support.

For rates and furhter info go to my website: www.jmannino.com